Part 5/5: The Easiest Way Towards Success in Work, Relationships and Life: the Foundations for Ease

If you’re like most people, you want to be successful (whatever success means to you).

And you know learning is key.

So you read a lot.

Attend all sorts of workshops.

Go on multiple retreats.

But if the initial positive outcome doesn’t last … you get bored, tired or restless … then like me you’ve realised…

… knowing isn’t enough: what you need are the right conditions to transform know-how into habit…

… which after years of trial and error, I’ve discovered it comes down to these:

1. you need to proactively seek ease,
2. remain open to reduce resistances in the way, and
3. find creative ways to build repetition – and design your own bespoke practice.

Keep aiming for the sweet-spot – and habits are created successfully.

HOWEVER. Miss, dismiss or ignore the sweet-spot… and like most people… you will have fallen into one of these pitfalls: the Fad-Trap, the Workout or the Rabbit Hole…

… where you back-slide and feel annoyed or disappointed.

Let’s explore them, shall we?

1.     Pitfall #1: The Fad Trap

Here’s where you’re thirsty for fresh insights and willingly do “the work” but after a month or two, you slowly, sadly, slip back into your old bad habits. When the fad fades, what can you do?

Instead of digging shallow holes hoping to find water, it’s about figuring out how to dig deeper by designing your own practice. Whatever ‘it’ is, it’s about integrating it into your daily routine so you build in the needed repetition.

2.     Pitfall #2: The Workout

While muscle building IS a about repetition… too much… can lead to fatigue or injury. How can you avoid from unnecessary stress, tension?

Instead of relying on effort, design your practice with ease in mind. Be playful. Have fun. Be supple. And above all, incorporate ease in the movements.

3.     Pitfall #3: The Rabbit Hole

In the quest for answers, some dive head first down one rabbit hole. And another. And then another. But instead of clarity, joy or ease, sadly for some, the quest itself becomes the never-ending escape. The only way to avoid this pitfall is to let go of what you think you know and open up to the humility of a beginner’s mindset.

Each of us have been in one or more of the pitfalls in our lifetimes. In fact, you could be in one right now. Can you identify which one trips you up the most?

Do you get caught-up in the latest fads… recommendations… diets?

Do you find yourself addicted to juggling it all… wanting a full plate… over-achieving?

Are you a sensation seeker… yearning for that dopamine hit… crashing when the sugar high doesn’t last?

If you’re tired of being stuck, struggling in these pitfall, aim for the sweet-spot.

As Lao Tzu once said,

“If you do not change direction, you may land up where you are heading.”

BUT CAUTION.

It’s not about holding on to the sweet-spot. Holding on is a seductive fantasy.

Reality, however, is about deciding:

deciding to return to the sweet-spot – time after time.

Which leads me to the 5th micro-habit for ease, to Decide.

To decide to design your practice… whatever the practice is… with the sweet-spot in mind.

When you build on the right foundations… the easier it is to avoid the pitfalls… know-how naturally transforms to habits… and success in work, relationships and life…

… becomes so much easier.

And that’s what the course the 5 micro habits for ease does. It enables you to design your own practice, with the Foundations for Ease in mind.

Check-out the online course, 5 micro-habits for ease, here. https://selenabetton.com/ease/

In the meantime, spot the 5 micro habits for ease in the words of wisdom by Portia Nelson (right)

Habit #1: Are you able to Pause in time?

Habit #2: Can you Label your thoughts, feelings and sensations?

Habit #3: How difficult or easy is it to Let Go?

Habit #4: What will you Let In?

And finally, Habit #5, what will you Decide today?