Letting go.

One of the most difficult things in life, right?

Injustice, betrayal, shame, guilt, anger, blame – leaves a bitter taste – particularly when it’s the dreaded 4D’s, Death, Disease, Disability or Divorce.


How is it that some people seemingly rebound from devastating loss, while others remain consumed? 


Your head knows that pain is inevitable and suffering is optional. You understand that while the first arrow hurts, you don’t have to add to the suffering by shooting off other arrows of your own. You get it that nothing lasts, this too shall pass, it’s the law of impermanence.

You know all of this stuff.

But what you really want to know is…

… is there a way to Let Go without drama and trauma? 

Here’s the thing.

To swim, you need to get into the water. To cycle, you need to get on the bicycle. The same goes with letting go. It’s not about knowing, as the writer Anton Chekhov said,

“Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice”.

It’s best to start in the shallow end before plunging into the deep, right?

Yet, ask yourself, when was the last time you released, surrendered and let go of the ‘small stuff’?

Like the time when…. a stranger bumped into you and didn’t apologise…. your colleague late again… or your friend let out a sarcastic sigh.

After practicing micro-habits #1 and #2, to Pause and to Label, now is the time to incorporate micro-habit #3, the practice of releasing those tensions you’ve uncovered.

Practicing the small-stuff builds muscle memory. It’s rewires the neural pathways. So when the time comes… when life dunks you into the deep end …

… your muscles intuitively know what to do.

You’re able to lift heavier weights…

… or in this case, it becomes easier to Let Go.

So the next time someone bumps into you… is running late …. or gives you ‘that’ sigh….

… pause and label what’s being triggered inside… and perhaps… ask yourself, how can you let it go?

“Who you are now and how you behave, is who you become. ” – Selena Betton

Find out more about the methodology, in my online course, the 5 micro habits for ease. https://selenabetton.com/ease/


Check out the other Micro-Habits here now:

Micro-Habit #1: To Pause

Micro-Habit #2: To Label

Micro-Habit #4: To Let In

Micro-Habit #5: To Decide


In the meanwhile, below are two Zen tales that illustrate how to let go. Enjoy. And In Joy.

  1. A Story of Appreciation and Impermanence

‘Every morning I drink from my favorite teacup. I hold it in my hands and feel the warmth of the cup from the hot liquid it contains. I breathe in the aroma of my tea and enjoy my mornings in this way. But in my mind the teacup is already broken.’

2. A Story of Practical Enlightenment

A young monk comes across an old hermit carrying a heavy bag. The old hermit has been living in seclusion for many years and is revered for understanding life. When their paths cross, the monk asks the hermit “What is enlightenment?”. The hermit puts down his heavy load and stands-up straight. “And what comes after enlightenment?”, asks the monk. The old man picks up his bag and continues walking.

Both stories, demonstrate different techniques: the first visualisation and the second physical.

Both take practice.